Because I said so.

Today, I'm treating this blog as a journal. I just need to write out what's been going on since last week and now with this new week. Due to pain from a pulled muscle in my back and illness last week, I basically did nothing in the way of exercise. I didn't eat terribly, but I didn't do the best that I could have either. I felt guilty for most of the week for not jogging, but as the week progressed and I was actually healing and getting better, I knew that it was what I needed. I obviously needed to take the time off in order to not injur my back further, but I couldn't help but feel my progress in running was being reversed. And I was right. I jogged last night and it wasn't horrible, but it definitely was not good. I didn't feel any pain in my back so at least there's that. However, I feel that I'm now starting over in a way. I only ran one mile, but I did actually run it, not just jog or bounce-walk as I like to call it sometimes. It felt so great to run, but I could tell that I was short of breath earlier in the process and my sides did hurt by the time I got back to my street. I hate that I'm going to have to rebuild my stamina and distance, but I'm just going to have to do what I have to do. I also battled that run with a headache. Not fun. I had considered skipping again, but I just couldn't let myself keep the cycle going.

Getting back into the swing of things is not easy when you've let yourself be free of it for too long. I definitely do not plan to do that again any time soon. Maybe my body needed it, but it still doesn't change the fact that I'm going to have to work extra hard to get back to where I was. I'm already doing much better in the way of eating. I'm not going to lie and tell you that I did perfectly yesterday, but I did much better than all of last week. I woke up yesterday telling myself that this week will be better than last week because that's what I need. I need this week to be better. I need to go to sleep earlier, but that may be hard with the Giants playing for the NLCS all week :) but I'm going to try my best to get as much rest as possible.

I realized something the other day that kind of blew my mind a little bit. It doesn't just shatter my world when I don't get enough sleep like it used to....When I say that it shattered my world, I mean it affected everything. I would wake up with a headache, be super cranky, just not a fun person to be around with lack of sleep. This just isn't so anymore! Now that my body and mind are healthier, I seem to be able to do much more with much less. This is a remarkable development because before, I let sleep dictate my life. If going out meant me not getting enough sleep, then I wouldn't go out. I know, I'm 23 so that's pretty lame. I don't let that bother me anymore. I would rather live my life and have fun while I still can than waste it on sleep. People who know me best will re-read that sentence, check my forehead for a fever, and ask if I'm feeling alright...I really, really love sleep....haha.

I'm better this week because I said so. I'm exercising like I should because I said so. I'm eating better because I said so. I'm in a better mood because I said so. I'm happy because I said so. I always have the choice and last week I chose to sulk. This week I choose to be better. I choose to rebuild with a smile on my face. Its all because I said so.

I just wanted to take the time to write out this post because I simply wanted to let you know what's been going on in my life for the past couple of weeks. My last few posts have discussed pretty serious subjects and I just wanted to write about something a little lighter. Doing this from time to time helps me to take a step back and breathe. It helps to put what I'm doing into perspective. I can re-read these posts and see where I was at this point in my journey and see that I'm doing just fine. I just want to be held accountable for all that I do, and I hope I didn't bore you too much :)