"...I had to be here for some reason..."

"I'd imagine the whole world was one big machine. Machines never come with any extra parts, you know. They always come with the exact amount they need. So, I figured, if the entire world was one big machine, I couldn't be an extra part. I had to be here for some reason. And that means you have to be here for some reason, too." -Hugo Cabret "Hugo"(2011)

I love this quote. So much. It could not be more true! (That is a fantastic movie, by the way. I highly recommend it!)

Everyone is here for a reason, even though you may not know what that reason is. At this point in my life, I'm not entirely sure what my purpose is, or my 'calling', if you will. I know that I want to write, I know that I want to sing, I know that I want to travel, and I know that I enjoy helping people. I've still been looking into these volunteer programs and have recieved several responses offering more information and requesting more information from me and why I want to participate. I'm answering questions with these people that I've never had to answer before. Simple questions such as "Why do you want to volunteer?" or "What is your interest in this program?" Answering is almost surreal to me. I've never been interested in helping others to this extent. Not to the point of wanting to leave the life I lead, the life I'm comfortable with, and give myself to others.

If you knew me about a year ago and were not aware of all of the changes I've experienced, you'd laugh in my face upon learning of this desire... I never thought that I would want to make such changes in my life in order to benefit others. Of course, these programs aren't completely selfless...but what do I get out of it? The amazing opportunity to see other countries, to experience other cultures, to grow even more as a person. I may not know exactly what I'm meant to be doing here on this Earth, but I've been getting the feeling lately that it may have something to do with this. I don't know what exactly is pulling me in the direction of this kind of life, but I'm beginning to feel very strongly about it. I'm becoming more and more determined to be a part of one of these programs.

Of course, the biggest issue that comes to mind with this is money...I'm going to have to work hard to raise the money for something like this. A lot of these trips are actually not as expensive as I expected, but I will still have to do a lot of work. The programs I'm most interested in are Language Exchange programs in Italy. Number one, Italy is the country I most want to visit and have all of my life. Number two, I would be able to use my background in English studies to help Italian families and school-aged children learn basic, conversational English. I would stay with a host family for a few months, teach them a few hours a day, tutor at a local school, and during my free time, experience Italy. That is just my dream come true. I would have the opportunity to live somewhere else. I would have the opportunity to be on my own. I would have the opportunity to help someone. Even if this service seems small, I know that these people greatly appreciate it.

There are other types of programs I've looked into that include childcare, farm help, and conservation projects, but the Italian experience is one that I can't stop focusing on! I feel that doing something like this will only further my growth, expand my way of thinking, and improve my outlook on life even more. I need to travel. I need to experience the world. I need to do something new! I feel that this could be part of what I'm supposed to do with my life. I don't know for sure, but the only way I'm going to find out is by doing it! The only way I'm going to figure all of this out is by experiencing it myself. If I sit here and wonder about it for the rest of my life, I'll regret it. I have to at least try. I have to do something. I've applied for a program here in the US, as well. Of course I want to travel abroad, but I have nothing against helping out around here!

I will keep you all updated on my progress with this. I'm so anxious about it all and I can't wait to get some definitive answers!