"A true friend never gets in your way unless you happen to be going down." -Arnold Glasow

What an awesome weekend I had. So many friends, so much fun, not too much food. Taking as much of my own food as possible really paid off in more ways than one. I didn't eat out every meal, therefore I didn't eat a lot of bad things, and I saved so much money this time around. I enjoyed a couple of really good meals, but for the most part my eating was like any other time. The only meal that I kind of let go of the reigns was on Saturday night. I had fried pickles, a chicken caesar wrap (which was legit. best caesar wrap I've ever had.), and fries. I absolutely enjoyed every single bite of that meal. It was refreshing to eat fried things because, of all of the things I've cut out, I almost never give in to fried foods. Sunday night, I had McDonald's for the first time since March...It was amazing. I had plenty of room left in my calories for it, so I didn't over-eat by any means, but of course that doesn't mean it was OK. But ya know what? I think I needed it. I think that because I NEVER eat fast food, it kind of helped me to curb some cravings I've had as of late. Even what I did eat there wasn't too terrible; Quarter pounder (no cheese) and a small order of fries. I'm sure it will be another 6 or 7 months before I do that again, but for now I feel that I don't have to miss these kinds of foods.

Last week just wasn't the best for me for some reason. I hadn't been getting much sleep, I was having a hard time with food, and I just wasn't feeling quite like myself. After this weekend I feel rejuvenated, I feel a little refreshed. Sometimes all it takes is time with great people and a couple of nights of really great sleep to get you back to feeling like yourself. Sometimes it takes being in a bad mood to remember how great being in a good mood really is. I try not to take for granted the way I've felt for the past few months, but sometimes I forget just how amazing it really has been. I sometimes forget what the old me really felt all of the time and last week reminded me. Getting myself out of that mood also reminded me of how far I've come as a person. It reminded me that I'm strong enough to pull myself back up and not have to rely on anyone other than myself to be happy. I don't have to let others dictate how I'm feeling or how I see myself. I'm strong enough as a person, as an individual now to really help myself. Obviously, though, I have learned how to let friends affect my mood as well. But I only let them affect it in a positive way. I let these friends lift me up and remind me of how great my life is. I let friends contribute to my well-being. I don't depend on them for happiness, but I allow them to add to my joy :)

I don't feel that I have to impress anyone anymore. I don't feel that I have to over-represent myself to others to get them to like me (if that makes any sense). I can be myself completely and will still have the love of those who truly love me. If someone doesn't care to be my friend, I'm not gonna cry over it. If someone tries to bring me down in order to make themselves feel better about their own lives, I don't need them in mine. I realize now that my real friends are going to love and accept me however I'm feeling or acting. If I present myself as someone else, the ones who like that Rachel are not going to like the real one. If I let them fall for a different Rachel, the real one is not going to benefit from that fake kind of friendship. I don't need to present myself as anyone other than the real me. There's no reason not to be myself. There's no reason to attempt to attract people that I know are not actually wanting to be a part of my life. I want people in my life who truly want to be there, who truly want to keep me at my best.

"Those who love you are not fooled by the mistakes you have made or dark images you hold about yourself. They remember your beauty when you feel ugly, your wholeness when you are broken, your innocence when you feel guilty, and your purpose when you are confused." I don't remember who said this and I couldn't find it online again, but I love what that says. It is so true that your true friends are going to remember all of the amazing things about you no matter what bad part of you is showing through. The quote in the title of this post is also one that I love in regard to friendship. A true friend is not going to try to bring you down. A true friend doesn't get in your way unless you are falling, unless you are being pulled down by something negative. This is the time that they will step in and assist you in pulling yourself back up. Your true friends are going to love you no matter what. Your true friends love you. Simple as that.