No matter how long the Winter, Spring is sure to follow.

With Spring just around the corner, I've been thinking about the whole process of blooming and blossoming. This isn't just in reference to the flowers, trees, and grass, but also to people. I was a late bloomer in almost every way. I didn't really come of age until about 2 years ago. This was when I really began to think for myself, choose what I really liked on my own, not allowing too much influence from others, and just realizing that it was OK to be different and to be the real me. I was always aware that I was quirky, but I was a little afraid to let the freak flag fly. At that point, I had been in college for a few years and was when I decided that I was not going to return to that school. I always knew that I was not a successful student, but I never viewed leaving as an option. I was miserable. I didn't truly realize just how miserable I was, but I knew something was off. When I finally realized that I didn't have to stay where I was, I felt to free. I felt as if a huge weight had been lifted off of me and I could breathe again. 

Since then, I've had a couple of different jobs, come out of my shell almost completely, become healthy, changed my appearance in a major way, become a runner, gained confidence, moved across the country, and will be returning to school next semester because I'm finally ready to be a student again. This past year is when I truly blossomed. I had been in the process of blooming for a while, but I think my petals have finally opened all the way and I'm letting in the Sunlight! For a long time, I was afraid to open myself up because I was afraid that I wouldn't be appreciated for me. Now that I know that the right people accept me, I'm no longer afraid to let people in. And do you know what I've found? It's much easier to make genuine connections with others when you're true to your own being. I've only recently made several really close friends and I hate that it came so late, but everything happens at the right time. I gained these friends because I put myself out there and made it happen in one way or another. The rest just kind of fell into place.

You may feel trapped by your own self-consciousness, but when everything finally lines up, you will blossom. You may feel like you're surrounded by darkness and everything around you is muddy, but if you just keep pushing up toward the light, when that right time comes, you will burst into full bloom. This is not something that you can force. I tried to make things happen before I was ready, but at the time, I wasn't aware that I wasn't prepared. Be patient and let things unfold naturally. I'm not saying you should sit back and do absolutely nothing, though. If you're feeling stuck, change something. I don't know what that something or somethings might be, but whatever it is, do it at your own pace and no one else's. You don't have to do anything you're not ready for and you don't have to be what others want you to be. If the people you surround yourself with are trying to change you, run. You need to be around true friends who love you for you and don't ask you to be someone you're not. You can't let anyone mold you, you have to mold yourself. By surrounding yourself with those who accept this, you'll mold yourself into the person you're meant to become.

Everyone blossoms in their own time. Everyone's transformation is different. Don't expect to have the same experience as others in terms of self-discovery. When you're truly ready to become who you were born to be, you'll discover that you never really change, you just become more "you". I still hold to the same ideals that I did when I was young, but I now view them in a more mature and realistic light. I realize what is possible, what is right, and what is me. I haven't really changed, I've simply become the best possible version of myself. I was impatient, I made mistakes, and I know that I can't change things that happened in the past. What I do know is that I can move on from it, focus on the present, and keep aspiring to better myself. Dwelling on things you can't change will allow that mud to seep back into your mind, so don't let it. Stop it in its tracks! All you need to do is keep living your life in a way that will allow you to improve yourself and your circumstances. As for me, I will continue to sculpt myself into someone I can continue to take pride in.