With my parents and sister arriving in less than 2 weeks, I'm growing increasingly anxious and homesick. Yesterday was Mother's Day and my family headed to my mother's parents' house for dinner and festivities. While there, I was called on FaceTime and was able to see everyone and say hello, even be in a couple of pictures! ;) But after all of this, I was very sad. It made me miss being able to take part in these events and hanging out with everyone. I've only been gone for close to 3 months now, but it feels like it's been forever since I've seen my family. Today I woke up in a wonderful mood, despite having gone to sleep too late, but was then overcome with sadness and I cried. I haven't cried in a while so it was overdue anyway, but I just couldn't help but feel down about not seeing my family and especially my mom on the holiday.
I did shower her with gifts from afar (a card, had flowers sent to her office, and sang to her in a VIDEO...psst, click that link if ya wanna see/hear it ;), but none of these can make up for the fact that I couldn't see her and hug her on a day that honors her. I am so beyond ready for them to be here next Friday (holy cow, it's next Friday!), but my impatience is beginning to get the better of me! I've always been an impatient person, but this is so much worse than any other time. In the meantime, I'll do my job, take care of these kids, and focus on being healthy. Speaking of, I've done extremely well over the past couple of weeks. I haven't been running as much as I should, but I've controlled my eating pretty well. I have indulged a couple of times, but it was completely necessary...Sometimes you just have to have something chocolate....
Anyway, I've been kind of MIA with my writing lately and that is purely out of laziness, honestly. I just find myself preoccupied with other things. They're not necessarily important things, but I keep finding other things to do. I promise to get back to writing more often, but I can't promise it will be anything too interesting. I hate feeling down like this and I know it's only temporary, but I wish that I didn't have days like this. They occur less often than they once did, but I still wish they'd just go away forever! I've been stuck at home for the past 2 weekends and I need to get out of this house, out of Benicia, and just do something other than watch tv and think about food. Without my car, it's not nearly as easy as it could be. I just need to make myself perk up! I have that ability and I just need to turn my frown upside down. Like a kindergartner.
Size 6/8
<3 "Motivation is what gets you started. Habit is what keeps you going." - Jim Rohn <3
Monday, May 13, 2013
Monday, May 6, 2013
(another) Pancake Recipe and Other Cravings.
You may be tired of hearing about my ever-changing pancake recipes, but I'm sure not tired of telling you about them. I have found a third variation for my recipe and I think it may be my favorite one:
Pineapple Yogurt Pancakes
-1/2 c flour
-1 container Dannon Light and Fit Greek Yogurt (I used pineapple this time because it's what I had, but I'm sure any flavor would be as amazing. And when I say container, I mean the size that come in a pack of four)
-1/4 c Silk Original Unsweetened Almond Milk
-1/4 c + 2 tbsp Egg Beaters
-1/4 tsp baking soda
-sugar substitute, I usually use about the same amount as flour or a little more. I know it sounds like a lot, but the kind I use isn't very strong. (I like to use store brand granulated sugar sub that comes in the big bags. It does a good job of bulking up the batter to make more.)
-In separate bowls, mix the dry ingredients and the wet ingredients then combine. Cook on pan sprayed with Pam and cook like you would any other pancakes :) My batch was 3 large pancakes. Top with Smuckers Sugar-Free Breakfast Syrup for perfection.
These were seriously amazing and very satisfying in terms of my sweet tooth. They were the fluffiest and most "normal" pancakes I've made so far. They almost had a cake-batteresque taste to them and the pineapple flavor was incredibly subtle. For real though, you should try these out. Perfect weekend meal.
Real talk now. I've been feeling a little homesick for the past couple of days, but I know that's normal. I've been here for 2 1/2 months now and it is definitely the longest I've ever been away from home and from my parents. I'm not accustomed to such long periods of time away, but I'm sure the longer I'm here, the less affected I will be. Or not. Only time will tell. I think the thing that I miss the most is just being able to see the people I love whenever I want to. I miss getting in my car and driving to Hoover to Mom's office for lunch and shopping on Fridays, picking Dad up from the airport after said shopping, meeting Pat and Nicole for dinner, going to Jacksonville to see Hannah, or meeting friends either in Birmingham or Jacksonville to go out for dinner or drinks, hanging out with my BooBear, going on photo shoots, or just driving around with her. I know that I was stuck in a rut for a long time and was bored with my life, but these aspects were never something to complain about. These are the things and people that kept me sane and smiling.
I know that having my mom, dad, and sister out here for a few days at the end of this month will help tremendously and I cannot wait for them to get here! I'm excited to see them, hug them, interact in person, show them around, just hang out, really. I think I'll feel a bit of normalcy and home being around them and that's something I'm craving. Speaking of craving, you don't realize how much you love a certain food until it's not as easily obtained. Barbecue. Oh, Lawd, do I miss Moe's, Dreamland, Full Moon, Cooter Brown's, Golden Rule, Jim n' Nick's, etc...Yes, there's BBQ out here. No, there's not a BBQ restaurant on every corner, and no, it is definitely not the same as Southern BBQ. If there's one meal I could eat right this very minute, it would be a Moe's smoked turkey salad, cheddar rolls from Jim N' Nick's, and 'nana pudding and sweet tea from Dreamland. Excuse me while I go find a napkin with which to wipe the drool from my chin....
There are so many things I love about being here and there are still so many things for me to experience and see. There's a lot for me to be thankful for, but nothing could ever replace home or the people I love there. Yes, I still feel that I made a positive change and the right decision, but I admittedly miss home. I miss Birmingham because, despite my past complaints, I do acknowledge the fact that it really is a cool city, incredibly small and quiet compared to San Francisco and the Bay area, but definitely quirky and charming in its own right. I'm happy here. I'm happy with my life, the people in my life, where I'm headed, just happy in general. My life is not what I expected it to be at this point, but I don't think I would have it any other way :)
Pineapple Yogurt Pancakes
-1/2 c flour
-1 container Dannon Light and Fit Greek Yogurt (I used pineapple this time because it's what I had, but I'm sure any flavor would be as amazing. And when I say container, I mean the size that come in a pack of four)
-1/4 c Silk Original Unsweetened Almond Milk
-1/4 c + 2 tbsp Egg Beaters
-1/4 tsp baking soda
-sugar substitute, I usually use about the same amount as flour or a little more. I know it sounds like a lot, but the kind I use isn't very strong. (I like to use store brand granulated sugar sub that comes in the big bags. It does a good job of bulking up the batter to make more.)
-In separate bowls, mix the dry ingredients and the wet ingredients then combine. Cook on pan sprayed with Pam and cook like you would any other pancakes :) My batch was 3 large pancakes. Top with Smuckers Sugar-Free Breakfast Syrup for perfection.
These were seriously amazing and very satisfying in terms of my sweet tooth. They were the fluffiest and most "normal" pancakes I've made so far. They almost had a cake-batteresque taste to them and the pineapple flavor was incredibly subtle. For real though, you should try these out. Perfect weekend meal.
Real talk now. I've been feeling a little homesick for the past couple of days, but I know that's normal. I've been here for 2 1/2 months now and it is definitely the longest I've ever been away from home and from my parents. I'm not accustomed to such long periods of time away, but I'm sure the longer I'm here, the less affected I will be. Or not. Only time will tell. I think the thing that I miss the most is just being able to see the people I love whenever I want to. I miss getting in my car and driving to Hoover to Mom's office for lunch and shopping on Fridays, picking Dad up from the airport after said shopping, meeting Pat and Nicole for dinner, going to Jacksonville to see Hannah, or meeting friends either in Birmingham or Jacksonville to go out for dinner or drinks, hanging out with my BooBear, going on photo shoots, or just driving around with her. I know that I was stuck in a rut for a long time and was bored with my life, but these aspects were never something to complain about. These are the things and people that kept me sane and smiling.
I know that having my mom, dad, and sister out here for a few days at the end of this month will help tremendously and I cannot wait for them to get here! I'm excited to see them, hug them, interact in person, show them around, just hang out, really. I think I'll feel a bit of normalcy and home being around them and that's something I'm craving. Speaking of craving, you don't realize how much you love a certain food until it's not as easily obtained. Barbecue. Oh, Lawd, do I miss Moe's, Dreamland, Full Moon, Cooter Brown's, Golden Rule, Jim n' Nick's, etc...Yes, there's BBQ out here. No, there's not a BBQ restaurant on every corner, and no, it is definitely not the same as Southern BBQ. If there's one meal I could eat right this very minute, it would be a Moe's smoked turkey salad, cheddar rolls from Jim N' Nick's, and 'nana pudding and sweet tea from Dreamland. Excuse me while I go find a napkin with which to wipe the drool from my chin....
There are so many things I love about being here and there are still so many things for me to experience and see. There's a lot for me to be thankful for, but nothing could ever replace home or the people I love there. Yes, I still feel that I made a positive change and the right decision, but I admittedly miss home. I miss Birmingham because, despite my past complaints, I do acknowledge the fact that it really is a cool city, incredibly small and quiet compared to San Francisco and the Bay area, but definitely quirky and charming in its own right. I'm happy here. I'm happy with my life, the people in my life, where I'm headed, just happy in general. My life is not what I expected it to be at this point, but I don't think I would have it any other way :)
Wednesday, May 1, 2013
The Root Of My Addiction: Part IV
Part I
Part II
Part III
Where was I? Oh yeah. So, I'd moved off to college and living on my own for the first time an hour and a half away from my parents. It was a new beginning of sorts and I took advantage of the fact that I could be different if I wanted to be. I'd auditioned for and become a part of a college marching band like no other. Joining The Southerners was the best decision I'd ever made and opened doors to so many friendships and opportunities. I was now exercising every single day and was feeling better about myself than ever before. When I say I was exercising, I mean I was rehearsing every day. Same thing. Trust me. Marching with this group was physically the most challenging activity I'd ever been a part of and as a result, I lost between 15-20 pounds. I know you're thinking "but don't people gain the freshman 15?" Not marching with Southerners, you don't. I was on top of the world. I was doing well in classes. I had many, many friends.
Every year in school was different for me. I lived in a different place, had different experiences with classes, but my eating habits did not change. I was over-eating, not exercising enough, and was down right lazy. My highest weight came in my last year at JSU. I had ballooned up to about 215 pounds and was miserable. I stayed there for over a year and despised looking in the mirror. After seeing pictures from Thanksgiving and Christmas of 2011, I knew it was time to make a change. At this point, I had already moved back home and was working. After participating as a bridesmaid in a high school friend's wedding that January, I decided it was time to make a change. I hated how I felt in that dress even though it was beautiful. I didn't feel beautiful and I didn't feel good about myself in any way.
I quit my job at the golf course due to slow business and began to look for another. I didn't realize it at the time, but not working was a complete blessing. I was able to focus on losing weight, exercising, eating right, without any distractions. I've mentioned before that 'click' that happens when you finally decide to change your lifestyle, but there's no way to really explain this phenomenon. When it happened for me, I charged at it head on with full force. I jumped into the lifestyle change with so much discipline and so much vigor that I couldn't even think about going back to that dark place. When I did finally get another job about 2 1/2 months later, I had already dropped about 30 pounds. I know, that's a lot in just a few months, but the bigger you are, the faster the first few pounds come off. With so much time to learn how to eat right and stay on track, I had no issue with continuing in my disciplined journey. I packed my own food and ate correctly during the first nanny job and I was so proud of myself for sticking to it. This doesn't mean that I wasn't still addicted to food.
All I could think about was the next time I'd get to eat. Even as I was eating a snack or meal, I was already focused on the next one, but I was able to control myself and wait. I was walking and running almost every day and this helped to push the weight loss even further. By about the end of June, I'd lost around 50 pounds and I could not have been more proud. By August, it was 60 pounds and then by October, 65. Since then, I've had an incredibly hard time disciplining myself and not giving in to the addiction. I've come to the conclusion that there really is no way to completely eliminate this addiction, but you do have the power to overcome it and control it. Everything I'm going through now with keeping myself on track is completely in my mind. I know that I can physically control myself, but mentally, I'm struggling. My addiction is something that I believe I will always live with, but I know that I'm stronger than it is.
Looking back on these posts, I can see how far I've come. I can see how much I've grown and learned over the years. I'm glad that I took the time to reflect on the 'why' part of my story because it's given me some perspective that I sorely needed. Remembering how I felt during those times of unhappiness just makes me see how much better off I am now and how much healthier I am. I can run without wanting to die, I can control how much and what I eat, and I can enjoy myself without deep-rooted misery. I hope that some of you were able to relate to my story and realize that you are not alone in your struggle. If I can do it, so can you. For reals. I am one of the most undisciplined people I know, so the fact that I could possibly overcome such things should give you hope for yourself and your journey. Thanks for sticking with me in this series of posts and I hope that you can see that you're never alone :)
Part II
Part III
Where was I? Oh yeah. So, I'd moved off to college and living on my own for the first time an hour and a half away from my parents. It was a new beginning of sorts and I took advantage of the fact that I could be different if I wanted to be. I'd auditioned for and become a part of a college marching band like no other. Joining The Southerners was the best decision I'd ever made and opened doors to so many friendships and opportunities. I was now exercising every single day and was feeling better about myself than ever before. When I say I was exercising, I mean I was rehearsing every day. Same thing. Trust me. Marching with this group was physically the most challenging activity I'd ever been a part of and as a result, I lost between 15-20 pounds. I know you're thinking "but don't people gain the freshman 15?" Not marching with Southerners, you don't. I was on top of the world. I was doing well in classes. I had many, many friends.
Every year in school was different for me. I lived in a different place, had different experiences with classes, but my eating habits did not change. I was over-eating, not exercising enough, and was down right lazy. My highest weight came in my last year at JSU. I had ballooned up to about 215 pounds and was miserable. I stayed there for over a year and despised looking in the mirror. After seeing pictures from Thanksgiving and Christmas of 2011, I knew it was time to make a change. At this point, I had already moved back home and was working. After participating as a bridesmaid in a high school friend's wedding that January, I decided it was time to make a change. I hated how I felt in that dress even though it was beautiful. I didn't feel beautiful and I didn't feel good about myself in any way.
I quit my job at the golf course due to slow business and began to look for another. I didn't realize it at the time, but not working was a complete blessing. I was able to focus on losing weight, exercising, eating right, without any distractions. I've mentioned before that 'click' that happens when you finally decide to change your lifestyle, but there's no way to really explain this phenomenon. When it happened for me, I charged at it head on with full force. I jumped into the lifestyle change with so much discipline and so much vigor that I couldn't even think about going back to that dark place. When I did finally get another job about 2 1/2 months later, I had already dropped about 30 pounds. I know, that's a lot in just a few months, but the bigger you are, the faster the first few pounds come off. With so much time to learn how to eat right and stay on track, I had no issue with continuing in my disciplined journey. I packed my own food and ate correctly during the first nanny job and I was so proud of myself for sticking to it. This doesn't mean that I wasn't still addicted to food.
All I could think about was the next time I'd get to eat. Even as I was eating a snack or meal, I was already focused on the next one, but I was able to control myself and wait. I was walking and running almost every day and this helped to push the weight loss even further. By about the end of June, I'd lost around 50 pounds and I could not have been more proud. By August, it was 60 pounds and then by October, 65. Since then, I've had an incredibly hard time disciplining myself and not giving in to the addiction. I've come to the conclusion that there really is no way to completely eliminate this addiction, but you do have the power to overcome it and control it. Everything I'm going through now with keeping myself on track is completely in my mind. I know that I can physically control myself, but mentally, I'm struggling. My addiction is something that I believe I will always live with, but I know that I'm stronger than it is.
Looking back on these posts, I can see how far I've come. I can see how much I've grown and learned over the years. I'm glad that I took the time to reflect on the 'why' part of my story because it's given me some perspective that I sorely needed. Remembering how I felt during those times of unhappiness just makes me see how much better off I am now and how much healthier I am. I can run without wanting to die, I can control how much and what I eat, and I can enjoy myself without deep-rooted misery. I hope that some of you were able to relate to my story and realize that you are not alone in your struggle. If I can do it, so can you. For reals. I am one of the most undisciplined people I know, so the fact that I could possibly overcome such things should give you hope for yourself and your journey. Thanks for sticking with me in this series of posts and I hope that you can see that you're never alone :)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)