Trying To Wipe Off This Boo Boo Kitty Face.

For the past few days, I've been in a mood that I haven't experienced in quite some time....I've been just plain grumpy and I don't like it. For a long time now, I've been able to suppress unpleasant feelings and keep a smile on my face, but I'm super frustrated with a few things. I want my car back. I want GEICO to stop dragging their feet and fix Fiona. I want GEICO to give me a rental until Fiona is healed. I want to be able to control my eating. I want to be able to sleep through just one night. I want my sinus issues to go away. I want, I wish, I hope...All things I cannot control. Except for the eating thing. I can totally control that, I'm just subconsciously choosing not to. But seriously, I can't change most of these things, so there's really no reason for me to complain. However, I don't complain that often anymore and I don't dwell on the unchangeable, but this past week, for some reason, I've chosen to wallow. And I think it was a long time coming.

I've said it before, you can't always hold everything in. You can bottle stuff up all of the time. Sometimes it does a world of good to just cry, to scream into a pillow (which I do not do, by the way), or just talk about it with someone. I've done 2/3 from this list and, while it has helped me feel a little better, it hasn't changed the fact that the things that are wrong are still wrong. I'm dealing with them in a mature fashion (which basically means I haven't called GEICO and cussed them out or burned down their headquarters), but I just want everything to be back to normal. I want the freedom of having my own car again, I want to be able to go see a certain person in Oakland when I want to, I want my nose and sinuses to magically clear up and for the resulting headache to disappear, I want to not feel so hungry all. the. time. Yes, I'm utilizing this blog as a venting platform today. Trust me, it's better that I do this here than anywhere else. 

So, excuse my pity party. Let's try to all remember happy, smiley, inspirational Rachel. She's still in there somewhere, she's just having a hard time being herself right now. Like I said, this Rachel doesn't show up that often. And I have said that this blog is a place for me to be honest and share with you in a candid manner. So, there. That's me being true to my word :)
Basically, other than the beautiful weather, I've just had a sub par weekend. I'm not hoping for a better week because that won't guarantee results. I WILL have a better week because I say so! I'm willing myself to be in a better mood and to enjoy what I do have and the life I've been given (yeah, I'm aware that kind of sounded like a Hallmark card). So, here's to a better week and a cheerier disposition. I mean, hey, basically all of my favorite cartoon shows from the 90s are on Netflix now. How could I not be cheery about that?!