"Sometimes it's ok if all you did today was breathe."

Well, I really wasn't planning to post anything today, but I was thinking about how my body almost pretty much shut down last week...yeah. I pushed way too hard and my body responded with a big middle finger in my face. Monday, I jogged about 2.5 miles, Tuesday about 4, Wednesday 4...now Thursday. Thursday is when everything started to go wrong. I woke up early before work to get in a quick jog because there was a possibility of going out that night, so in preparation, I jogged a couple of miles in the morning. However, my plans fell through so I decided to do another jog that evening. BIG mistake. I started out on my run just fine, but the longer I went, the worse it got. I only made it to a little past the 1 mile mark before I decided that I simply could not push any further...So, with my head hung in shame, I turned back and ended up walking almost all the way home. My sides were in sharp pain, I couldn't breathe, my right big toe was throbbing...Not good.

The next day, I knew I was going out to dinner with my family so I HAD to jog before-hand. Once again, my body was angry with me and I only got in about 3 miles, jogging/walking...ugh. It really is disappointing to have to give in when I KNOW I can do so much more. But sometimes, when your body is exhausted, it has nothing left to give. I should have let it rest after the horrible jog on Thursday, but no. I was dumb and tried to do too much. Also, at the beginning of the week, I could feel a cold coming on, so I immediately started a Mucinex cycle (which is literally a miracle drug). I know that having this cold coupled with pushing too hard made my body feel run down and I should have listened. All day Friday and Saturday, I was achy, sleepy, exhausted physically and mentally, and just wanted to do nothing. We went out of town for the weekend, so luckily, most of my weekened was spent sitting in a car unable to exercise, not tempted to over do it. I am so very glad that I rested for two days. My body needed it. My brain needed it. Everything in me and about needed it.

This, my friends, is a good example of why you should always listen to your body when it speaks to you. Or in my case, screams at the top of it's lungs at you. If you exhaust yourself to the point of not being able to function, not being able to do things you normally would, or like me, not getting through jogs you know you can get through, you will set yourself back. Yes, you should push. Yes, you should try hard. Yes, you should strive to be better. But don't over-exert yourself. Don't ruin yourself. Don't let yourself get so obsessed with this that you can't think about anything else. Of course this takes focus, but it does not have to completely take over your life. It is a HUGE part of my life right now, but I'm slowly learning how to let go a little bit and live my life without feeling tied down to the process. It's taken me a while to get to this point, but I'm happy I'm here and I'm happy to be figuring out what I can and cannot do. I love that I'm learning to balance everything without obsessing. I've even let up a little on my calorie counting...it's an odd and slightly liberating feeling. I feel confident in my food choices, however, because I'm so educated in foods and the calories in them. I can piece my day together now without whipping out my counting app or a calculator. I do still measure things when I can or need to because I do still want to consume the correct serving portions. BUT, I feel a little freer. A little less tied down to food. A little less married to food.

I feel sometimes that I'm walking on thin ice with losing weight because I could so easily revert back to the way I used to live and eat, but then I really think about what I've gained through all of this and remember why I did it. I remember that this has been so worth the effort and pushing. I remember all of the people who now look to me for motivation and advice and realize that I would not only let myself down, but I would let many friends down by giving up. I am not willing to let temptation shatter my new life and I will forever fight against it.