Re-motivated

I kind of lost my way this week. Not in running, that was actually pretty spectacular this week, but my eating habits were not a source of pride...I didn't go crazy or lose complete control, but I found myself doing a lot more "snacking" than normal. I'm still having a really hard time finding that balance of calories burned and calories eaten and I'm still quite frustrated by it. All I can do is to keep going and keep working hard at this. Yesterday's run was kind of amazing. I did 5.5 miles and I did the whole thing with no pain...That was weird...No side cramps, no leg cramps, nothin'...I wish it could be like that every time! Today wasn't too bad, but I was still having some side cramps. I took it easy and just did about 3.3 miles, but I burned 400 calories, so it was definitely a success. Three miles is "taking it easy". That feels good to say :)

I'm fairly certain I'm going to be able to begin the moving process this weekend! Adele is over at the new as at this moment getting the carpets cleaned and the locks changed. As soon as I get my key, she said it's OK for me to start moving stuff in. I'm so excited! I still haven't even packed anything, but I honestly don't have much to do...It's pretty much just clothing, to be honest. I can definitely get my bathroom set up and take books and such over, but thankfully, Adele is having movers come get all of the big furniture :D I don't think I've ever gotten to move (other than moving out here) and not actually have to move any furniture...And I've moved a lot, guys. Like, a lot a lot. 

Ya know, it seems like everytime I feel a little down about my control over eating, someone contacts me needing advice or just some words of encouragement and I feel in control again. It gets me motivated and refocused on what I need to do. It makes me look back on where I've been, what I've been through, how I got here, just gets me looking at my progress. It always seem to come in perfect timing, too. It always happens when I need to hear it the most and it happened again this week. I had a very close friend text me needing direction with really getting her process started and how to push herself and keep motivated and it made me go all the way back to my very first blog post when I explained everything to you guys about how I got to where I am. Re-reading that really helped me remember what I have done and what I need to do again. Looking back makes me want to be better. I love hearing from you guys :)

"Motivation is what gets you started, habit is what keeps you going." I have to remember that quote quite frequently. I have to keep myself motivated, but what keeps me motivated? Results. When I see a difference, feel a difference, feel good about myself, feel good physically, I'm motivated to keep it all going. Just because I'm not neccessarily losing weight, I'm doing good things for my body, my mood, and my future health. Being healthy now will help me age better and stay healthier for longer. I'm not just living for the now, I'm working for my future. I work hard for myself and for my future family. I want to be able to play with my kids (whenever that happens...) and not feel old. I want to be able to keep up with them without running out of breath, ya know? I want to be one of those moms that other people see and think "damn, she looks great! Has she really had kids?" Whenever I get married, I don't want to have to work to get into that certain size, I want to be there already. I want to be able to wear whatever wedding dress I want. Being healthy now will help me have a safer pregnancy one day and help me get back into shape afterwards. I'm at an age now where I have to think about these things rather just focusing on just looking good now. I'm doing all of this for so many reasons, so many important reasons. 

Even if you're struggling to get going or to keep going, just remember that one thing that got you motivated in the first place. My initial reasoning was because I was tired of feeling crappy about the way that I looked in clothes, but as I kept going, I realized that there is so much more to it than that. All of the other benefits kept me motivated and kept me working. Being unhealthy is not worth it in any way. There's this saying that I keep seeing on Pinterest: "Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels." First of all, lies. Pizza, cake, chocolate, tacos, pie, cookies, etc. I'd much rather just be able to eat whatever I want without getting fat, but I love food too much. Your motivation shouldn't be "skinny", it should be healthy. Some of the smallest people I know are also some of the most out of shape people I know. Just because you're small doesn't mean you're healthy. I know plenty of skinny people who can't run for a quarter of a mile without stopping. How you look shouldn't be the goal, it should be one of the many benefits of getting healthy. Don't work towards skinny, work towards healthy. I cannot say it enough.